The Creative Artist's Survival Guide: How to Avoid Scammers Who Target Your Dreams
The need for validation among creative artists and the scammers who prey upon your vulnerability. How to protect yourself!
I’m so excited to share Dr. J. Herman Kleiger, author and psychologist, with you today!
Dr. Kleiger is a talented mystery writer and is currently marketing his fantastic novel, Whispers, his third book of psychological suspense, which was recently released. It’s fantastic. Learn more here—psychological fiction.
Having read my various posts on scams targeting authors, he wanted to explore why scammers specifically target writers and artists, as well as the psychological reasons behind this phenomenon.
What is it that makes us fall for what is usually too good to be true?
💥 Shout-out to my exclusive advertising sponsor, the always-free Booklinker (universal book links—so helpful!), and the paid tool, GeniusLink. I love both💥 (affiliate link).
“I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now. You like me!” ~ Sally Field, Actor, Oscar Winner
Those iconic words, spoken in 1985 by Oscar winner Sally Field as she accepted the award for Best Actress in the film “Places in the Heart,” have become memeified and live on in our collective minds even forty years later.
📌 Read more about Fields’ speech here.
While it’s true that her words were misquoted as, “You like me, you really like me,” and that some looked upon Ms. Fields’ exuberant display through cynical eyes, many in and outside the creative arts viewed her words and emotion as a genuine expression of the deep wish for affirmation and acceptance.
As social beings, we all need and seek validation and acceptance. After all, we’re not that different from Sally Field. We all have narcissistic needs to be noticed, liked, and respected.
A positive sense of self-regard is a normal part of being human. I wrote my first blog about the myth of Narcissus and our search for Echos, who mirror our self-worth.
The Quest for Validation Among Creative Artists
Although we all seek to be seen and accepted, I’d like to examine what makes validation so crucial to those of us who write, perform, and create, and why Fields’ speech resonated with creatives.
Writers, performers, and artists often experience a magnified sense of narcissistic vulnerability. This is especially true when it comes to auditions, reviews, and promotional pitches!
So much of a creative’s sense of self, their identity, and self-worth, is affected by the words of those who read and view their artistic creations. This desire among creatives makes them uniquely vulnerable to pitches from seductive marketers who promise increased visibility that will lead to lasting fame.
What are the psychological underpinnings of this heightened vulnerability to what others think of our creative work?
There are different ways to think about what makes creatives especially vulnerable to praise and criticism. Here are four ways to understand this vulnerability.
1. Creative Work as an Expression and Extension of the Self
Creative work isn’t simply valued as a commodity or for its content. Artistic endeavors may take on special meaning as a manifestation of the creator’s internal world–his/her essence, experiences, and value as an individual.
Public exposure of private creativity moves the artist from the safety of fantasy to the objectivity of judgment, which can feel dangerous.
From this perspective, it’s easy to see how criticism or indifference to a bad review or two-star rating may feel like a rejection of one’s core, not simply their work. This makes validation, or lack thereof, enormously personal.
2. Narcissistic Investment and Fragile Self-Esteem
Narcissistic vulnerability is, of course, magnified in those creatives who have grown up with significant insecurity and investment in being seen as special and unique.
Thus, success validates self-worth, while failure or indifference undermines it.
Decades ago, psychoanalysts Heinz Kohut and Otto Kernberg put forth different theories of narcissistic vulnerability and described how, for those with significant narcissistic vulnerability, praise can create grandiose highs, while criticism can trigger shame and worthlessness.
This oscillation reflects what Kernberg and Kohut describe as significant narcissistic vulnerability, where mirroring and external affirmation become necessary for self-cohesion. Promotional pitches and reviews remind them that their worth is dependent on external sources, opinions, and critiques, not just intrinsic talent.
Kohut, Heinz: The Analysis of the Self: A Systematic Approach to the Psychoanalytic Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorders (1971). International Universities Press, New York. ISBN 0-8236-8002-9.
Kernberg, O.F. (1975). Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism. New York: Aronson
3. The “Mirror” Function of the Audience
It follows that creatives seek mirroring (to use Kohut’s term) from readers, critics, marketers, and buyers to help regulate their self-esteem.
Book reviews, ratings, and promotional attention serve this mirroring function. But sadly, it can become a distorted measure of one’s sense of self-worth.
🌟 A glowing review feels like a narcissistic supply.
😥 A bad review can feel like a shattering of support and may trigger feelings of shame and rage.
4. Perfectionism and Idealization: A Star is Born!
Creatives may hold idealized standards for their work. Such standards may fuel fantasies of recognition and praise. “You like me!”
And as we’ve seen, external evaluation may threaten this ideal and lead to deflation, worsened by self-attack–– “You don’t like me. I’m worthless.”
Interestingly, even a positive review may not feel sufficient if it doesn’t match the creative’s idealized fantasies of recognition leading to fame.
Another well-regarded psychoanalyst, D. W. Winnicott, offered ways of understanding a writer’s narcissistic vulnerabilities.
Winnicott’s concepts of true self, false self, holding environment, and transitional phenomena map onto the creative process and the sensitivity writers may feel toward reviews and promotional pitches.
For Winnicott, creativity is rooted in a transitional space, which he described as an intermediate zone between internal psychic reality and external objective reality.
The writer uses this space to explore, generate, and develop ideas, fantasies, and language, all of which are profoundly personal and spontaneous activities.
The act of writing expresses what Winnicott called the True Self, which reflects the individual’s core being, characterized by spontaneity, authenticity, and feeling alive.
Vulnerability arises when this spontaneous, true-self creativity is exposed to the external world for judgment:
A harsh review can feel like an intrusion into the transitional space, which may disrupt the illusion that the writer’s inner world can exist safely and be accepted.
Winnicott believed the infant (and all people) need a holding environment, a responsive other(s), attuned to the individual and able to safeguard spontaneous self-expression of the true-self.
For writers, the ideal holding environment might be supportive mentors, editors, or members of a writing group, who respond with empathy, not impingement or intrusion.
A bad review may feel like a breakdown of holding, a failure of the environment to support the writer’s creative True Self.
False Mirrors: The Deceptive Pitch
Dear J. Herman Kleiger,
I came across your book on Facebook/Instagram/Threads/X and must say that it grabbed me! (Nowhere has this individual said they actually read the book, only that they “came across it”). I just had to reach out because I was drawn in by the evocative cover for your wonderful book. It’s not often that I find an image so compelling (You like me, you really like me!). Congratulations, J. Herman Kleiger! Your talent shined through (Really, Moi? 😌). Your characters X and Y leapt off the page and came to life (Uh, wait, didn’t an Amazon reviewer already say this?).
I’d love to talk to you about your vision for your book. This isn’t a pitch (Yes, it is absolutely a pitch) but I’d love to hear more about what inspired you to write your book. If interested , please contact me! I’d love to learn more about you (Hit delete).
This is a composite from several such phishing emails I’ve received over the years, each praising the uniqueness of my talent and teasing how they could promote my book.
Some are benign and not so blatantly manipulative. They are simple pitches for gaining more tweets and posts that purport to reach “1000s of potential customers!!”
Still, they appeal to the writer’s wish to get their books into the hands of more readers. Others, like the example above, are slicker and deceptive. They serve as false mirrors that flatter and seduce.
They may imply that they’ve read your book, but all they need to do is search book descriptions and reviews on Goodreads and Amazon to tell them all they need to know.
Some may use AI to craft a message that is designed to set the hook for the hungry writer eager to respond to the lure of praise and flattery. Finally, someone’s recognized my talent! They really like me!
How to Stay Alert and Protect Yourself
Phishing is a lucrative practice. One doesn’t need to be a writer or creative artist to be vulnerable to a slick phishing expedition.
Individuals who are less computer-savvy, the elderly, those who are lonely, and those who are insecure may be especially susceptible to phishing scams, deceptive marketing, or garden-variety phishing schemes.
We’ve all heard sad stories of the lonely elderly man who is seduced online to send money to a beautiful woman who needs help with her ailing child, when, in fact, the seducer is a 40-year-old guy in Des Moines named Ed.
Fortunately, there are valuable tools that can help writers and other creatives stay a step ahead of deceptive promos and prevent being caught in the nets of the literary phishermen.
One of the best resources written about avoiding author scams is available here on Substack by well-known author and social media expert Rachel Thompson BadRedheadMedia, LLC, https://badredheadmedia.com). {Editor’s note: I did not make him say this!}
Rachel’s Substack post from June 2024 addressed author scams and guided how to avoid them ⬇️
In her article, Thompson cautions writers to “beware of snakes” and summarizes:
Ways to identify and avoid vanity press scams
How authors can empower themselves to spot fake literary agents and protect themselves from deceptive phishing scams like those described above
Tips for how to avoid promotional scams and deal with social media fraudsters
Rachel offers general tips for authors to protect themselves online. These include:
- Staying Informed: Keep up with common scams by participating in author forums and online communities.
- Being Skeptical: If an offer sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
- Seeking Legal Advice: Consult with a literary attorney before signing any contracts or making significant payments. She recommends DMCA.com for copyright advice and help.
Educating Yourself: Learn about the publishing industry to gain a deeper understanding of legitimate business practices.
I would recommend consulting with social media experts, such as Rachel, when in doubt about the legitimacy of a pitch.
Continue To Create. Please.
In closing, creatives will continue to create. We will put our hearts, authentic selves, and, yes, our sometimes shaky egos on the line. Ideally, we will discover our intrinsic worth as writers, artists, and performers and experience the joy in exercising our passions.
Hopefully, we will not define ourselves or measure our worth by the sometimes stinging or indifferent words of our critics or the false mirrors of promotional scams.
Find me on my website, social media, or here on Substack!
Currently appearing on Partners in Crime Book Tour
Happy writing!
Wow, Rachel, this really hits home.
I’ve noticed love bombing from other creators who see being in proximity with you as a way to position themselves and their own work versus genuine engagement. Learned the hard way. They will imitate and colonize you.