Empower Yourself: Writer's Toolbox for Battling Trolls and Cultivating a Supportive Online Environment
Trolls can be overwhelming. My tips for handling...
You’re on X or Instagram, and someone leaves you a mean, nasty response. It’s weird. And upsetting. What did I ever do to them? you may be thinking.
Writers can often be targets for trolls on social media, given the public nature of our work. My biggest piece of advice comes from Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements: don’t take anything personally.
I recommend all writers and creatives read this slim volume.
Here’s how to effectively handle trolls and safeguard our mental health:
Assess the Comment’s Intent:
It's crucial to discern whether a comment is a critique worth considering or just trolling. If it's trolling—meant to provoke or upset—it's usually best not to engage.
This takes on the element of ‘assumption’, another of The Four Agreements: don’t make assumptions. However, in cases like online trolling, we are forced to make a decision based on limited data, and that’s okay.
Think about what it might take out of you to reply or, further, how it will feel to engage in this toxicity. Ignoring trolls is a great example of self-care.Choose Engagement Wisely:
If you decide to respond, keep your replies professional and unemotional, especially important if you’re looking for an agent, publisher, PR specialist, or social media consultant.This type of response can sometimes disarm a troll since they seek emotional responses and volatility. However, if the comments are harmful or overly negative, ignore them.
Mute, block, or remove them as a follower.
“Nobody is watching until everybody is watching,” an agent told me once. I’ve always remembered that.
We are under no requirement to engage with anyone, especially trolls.Leverage Social Media Tools:
Liberally use blocking, muting, and reporting functions found in settings. These tools can help manage exposure to harmful interactions and maintain a more positive online environment.
For example, if you go into your Settings on X, you can mute words or topics you don’t want to see. Same on your Facebook Page.
On X: Go to Settings » Privacy And Safety » Mute And Block » Muted Words.
Set Clear Boundaries:
Define what interactions are acceptable on your platforms. This might include not responding to blatantly disrespectful comments or criticism that isn’t constructive. Ad hominem attacks are never going to be a winning strategy.
I developed a “One-Reply Rule:” If I respond to a negative comment or troll, I reply only once (if at all). Trolls want to elicit a response, so be very selective when you reply. Keep your engagement circle tight.Prioritize Your Mental Health:
Dealing with trolls can be emotionally taxing.
Make sure to take breaks from social media, engage in activities that replenish your mental energy, and consider discussing any distressing interactions with peers who understand the unique pressures of being a writer.
I have my smartwatch set to remind me to get up and walk around, which is especially helpful when someone is needlessly mean. Walk it off.Seek Community Support:
Engaging with other writers or professional groups can provide additional perspectives and support. Sharing experiences and coping strategies can be incredibly validating and helpful.
I have a Facebook Group (click here to join) and am part of several wonderful women’s writers groups. You’re definitely not the only one dealing with trolls, so this support is validating.
That said, don’t encourage ‘piling on’ the troll with support from your friends, which can be so tempting. And remember, you don’t have to follow or engage with anyone, ever. We get to be adults and make these decisions ourselves.
Maintaining a connection with our audience is essential for writers, but protecting our mental space is equally important. These strategies can help you manage the challenges of social media while focusing on your writing and well-being.
More on trolls (who, it appears, are primarily male and often lonely) here.
It can be difficult to have compassion for people who are complete jerks, often for no apparent reason, but it can be worth remembering our humanity, compassion, and, above all, self-care.
What have you found to be most helpful in dealing with trolls? Please share in the comments!
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This is really great advice. Thanks so much for sharing. I love your posts.